Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate
by HayffieBird
Summary: Haymitch and Effie reunite after the war, when an unexpected event knocks them off course.
1. Chapter 1

**Haymitch and Effie reunite after the war, when an unexpected event knocks them off course. Very very light M rating**

Chapter 1

Peeta's shirt clung to him with sweat as he dug the shovel into the earth, digging up his second rosebush for the day. Once upon a time the groundskeeper had planted them there. The Victor's Village used to overflow with Snow's favorite bloom but now it was getting an entirely new look.

Where the bushes used to be, primroses now bloomed and marigolds and daffodils and rue flowers. It was for Katniss but not solely. Ever since the boy returned to Twelve, gardening had worked therapeutically for him. A way to focus and soothe his mind.

The steady sound of the shovel was what finally woke Haymitch. The old mentor lay sprawled out on the couch in nothing but a shirt that needed washing weeks ago and a pair of sad old underwear. He groaned when reality brought on the throbbing headache that was as routine for him as pissing in the morning.

Haymitch lifted his hand and waved it helplessly in the air as if that would ward off the shovel. Why could he never remember to pull those damn curtains together? He shadowed his face with his hand and that's when he realized he wasn't alone.

Effie sat there on the very edge of his old armchair where springs stuck out through the stuffing and his skin crawled from déjà vu. How many times hadn't he seen her at his house this time of year collecting him for the reaping.

"I see you picked up where you left off," Effie said, glancing at the empty liquor bottles that littered the floor.

Her strawberry blonde hair fell freely down her shoulders. He still wasn't used to see Effie like she really was without all that crap she put on her face and her crazy outfits. She looked younger, washed out, more vulnerable.

He grunted something about pants and heaved himself to his feet. He found them thrown aside in the kitchen and pulled them on but was in no hurry to go back to her. Seeing his old escort only brought back memories from her last visit and they hadn't gotten less embarrassing with time.

He never planned on fucking her when she came back with Peeta in March but that's still how he wound up.

He sucked at goodbyes; didn't do well with any change and when she embraced him he'd felt it in his bones that he'd never see her again despite her promise that she would return. That's why he kissed her and everything had deteriorated from there.

It was pathetic. Quick and with no elegance whatsoever. He thrust himself into her once, twice and then it was over. It'd been so long since he'd been with a woman and he was so overwhelmed by the feel of her around him he couldn't hold back. Effie wasn't even close.

Afterwards they were both so uncomfortable they didn't know where to look or what to do with themselves.

"Take care of them," she mumbled.

"I will," he muttered back and Effie got her bag and slipped out the door, like she couldn't get out of there fast enough.

That was two months ago.

Haymitch took some water in his hands and splashed it on his face. He rinsed out the bad taste in his mouth, snapped the seal on a bottle, drank. Better. Much better.

The telltale clicking of heels approached and he knew without looking that Effie watched from the door.

"Guess it's my own fault you couldn't call me," he said and turned around with the bottle still in hand. "Went and broke it again. Don't think you're gonna be able to fix it this time. Sorry." He stretched out with a grunt and scratched his stomach. "Why're you here? Forgot somethin'?"

"I'm pregnant."

The silence that followed after she uttered those words was so thick it was palpable. Effie watched him, tired and unsmiling, waiting for him to respond but Haymitch couldn't get a single word out. He stood there frozen, his grip on the bottle so tight his fingertips shone white and bloodless.

"I just found out," said Effie. "My doctor…"

He saw her lips move as she kept talking but he couldn't hear her, couldn't make sense of the words. His ears rang. Everything blurred together.

"Haymitch?" He felt a pressure against his arm. Through the black spots that filled his vision a pair of worried, blue eyes appeared. She kept her hand against his arm, steadying him until he could see her face again.

"You're pregnant?" he croaked.

He wanted her to deny it. It couldn't be true! But Effie only nodded.

"Nine weeks," she said.

"You told me…" Haymitch rasped. "You told me you can't get pregnant."

"I know. I know you're upset…"

"Upset?" All the blood that had drained from his face was returning, fast. "You're dropping a fucking bomb on me, Eff! How can you be knocked up when your doctor said it's impossible!?"

"I don't know!"

"I can't have a kid! You know I never wanted kids!"

"I didn't plan it, Haymitch.  
 _  
"I can't have a kid!"  
_  
"What do you want me to say! I don't know how it could happen. It just did!"

He cursed and smashed his bottle against the wall, making her jump and the liquid flowed down the yellowed, torn wallpaper. "It was just a stupid mistake! Fuck, Eff! You can't do this to me!"

"Do you think I wanted this!?" Effie cried. "Do you think I came to your house that day in the hopes that you would father my child!? All I wanted was to give you Dr. Aurelius's instructions! That was all! Only you decided to jump me!"

"Do _not_ pin this on me, Eff! You screwed up! You and your _moron_ doctor so don't you fucking blame me! I never asked for that kid! You're not doing this to me! How do I even know it's mine?"

The slap hit his face so hard he staggered back a step.

"Of course it's yours, you pathetic, horrible _worm!"_ Effie's eyes were filled with tears. "Oh, Haymitch, how could I be so stupid to believe you would take responsibility! You're a good-for-nothing drunk and that's all you ever will be! But don't you worry, Haymitch. It's only your child. And I will do this on my own!"

 **Author's note: This story got longer than I expected so there will be two more chapters after this. :) Reviews are love and always appreciated!** **Chapter 2 will be up next weekend**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"I'll go check on him."

There was still some soup left in the pot so Greasy Sae put the lid on and lifted it from the stove.

"I've already tried," said Peeta. He sat at the table, doing finger paintings with Nella. Their mess was extraordinary and Katniss had escaped, boosted up on the kitchen countertop with the plant book. "He won't come out."

"Well, we can't have him starve," Sae said. She gave her granddaughter a soft caress and a few mumbled words before she took the pot and headed out the door.

Ever since Hazelle and the kids had moved with Gale to District 2, Haymitch's living standard had plummeted. It was depressing, wading through the mess and trying to not step in anything sticky. Once in the kitchen Sae forced open a window and scooped some soup into a clean bowl that she brought with her in to the living room.

If the house looked awful it was nothing compared to the man who lived there. She pulled up a chair to the threadbare old sofa and sat down, taking in the human wreck before her.

Haymitch looked back through strands of greasy hair. He'd lost weight. Drink and too many sleepless nights had made his eyes dull and so red they seemed to be bleeding. He lay there hollow-eyed and yellow under a knotty old blanket.

"Got you some beef soup," she said.

"I'll pass," Haymitch muttered.

There was a whole army of bottles on the coffee table and they wobbled and clinked precariously against each other when Sae made room for the bowl.

"You need to eat or you'll get sick."

"Who cares," Haymitch muttered but she was already helping him to sit. He complained but he could just as well have saved his breath. He always ended up doing what she said. He was like a bear next to Greasy Sae and could easily have snapped her like a dry twig but she was a no bullshit lady, especially with him. He reckoned that's how it had to be with a woman who's home he used to run around in his diapers.

She put the spoon in his hand.

"Eat up now."

Haymitch took a sullen mouthful.

"How's Katniss and Peeta?" he asked.

"They're fine. But they worry about you. You gonna tell me what's going on?"

"I'm great," Haymitch said. "Just great. Would be even better if people could leave me alone."

"Something's happened. I can tell. Is it about Effie Trinket?"  
 _  
Damn Sae and her X-ray vision.  
_  
"What about her?"

"She calls me sometimes. Asks how the children are doing. I get the feeling she'd rather hear it from you though."

"She doesn't," said Haymitch.

"Why?"

Haymitch didn't answer. He took another spoonful.

"Haymitch, what'd you do?"

"Yeah," he said and glared at her. "Course, it's me. I'm the bad guy. It's always me. Yeah, I fucked up. But it takes two!"

"Two for what?"

"What does it matter?" Haymitch spat. "She's gone. She's never coming back here."

He pushed his bowl of soup away, unable to eat another bite.

"It was supposed to be safe," he said. "You know I'd never have done it if it wasn't. Now everything's a fucking mess. And she's gone."

He took a bottle from the coffee table, tilted it into his mouth until there was nothing left.

"Guess I should be proud of m'self, right? I've gone around all these years thinking I shot blanks and then I score a fucking 12? Gotta have some kind of super sperm."

Sae watched him. She was quiet for a very long moment.

"How far along is she?" she finally asked. "Do you know?"

Haymitch rubbed his hand against his blotchy, red face, making his beard even wilder than before. He knew exactly how far along she was, although he wished he didn't. It was so bloody ironic because he never kept track of the days. But years back, in a moment of foolish optimism Effie'd bought him a pocket calender. He'd never used it of course and now it wasn't quite up to date but every week since she left he'd looked it up. It was a compulsive act often right before the alcohol soaked him through and each time he regretted it so much he damn near choked on it. He didn't want to think about Effie's pregnancy. And still the next week he was there again.

"She'll be four months," he muttered. "Not that it matters."

He reached for another bottle but this time Sae took it from him and put it back on the coffee table with finality.

"So what're you still doing here?" she asked and Haymitch snorted.

"Where else would I be?" he asked. "The Capitol? She doesn't want anything to do with me, Sae. She left. I fucking sent her running."

"Then you should've followed her, boy. Train only leaves once a day. She probably sat on the station for hours."

"They're better off without me."

"So you're just gonna wash your hands of you own child?"

The look on Haymitch's face when she said those words would have sent most people running but he wasn't scaring Sae.

"You should be there with her. Not sit here and drink and feel sorry for yourself. It's your responsibility too."

"How many times do I have to say it? She left! She could've picked up the phone and called me if she'd wanted me around! She doesn't and it's none of your fucking business anyway so you can go get your bony ass outta here too!"

He said it so she'd be angry and leave but the only thing it did was flood him with guilt because that's not how you spoke with Greasy Sae.

He waited for the scolding. Wanted it even.

It didn't come.

Instead she did something entirely different and unexpected. Sae reached out and took his hand. Haymitch tried to pull away but she held it firmly and would not let go. He could feel the bones so prominent and fragile through her wrinkled skin. His face was flushed but he couldn't ever risk hurting her and Sae knew it.

"Try and drive me away all you want, Haymie. You're not gettin' rid of me that easily," she said and held on and held on; until he stopped fighting.

And with that surrender, all the fire inside of him just flickered out. His hand lay still and unmoving in hers. Sae brushed her thumb softly over his knuckles that were bruised from when he'd slammed them into the wall and he let her.

He was so exhausted. He'd hardly slept in days. If he closed his eyes he would only fall into the same nightmare over and over. Every time. Sometimes it was a boy; sometimes a girl and they were thrown into the arena. The course would differ but the end was always the same. No matter what he did he couldn't save his child.

"Kid's innocent, Sae," he mumbled. "It just had the bad luck to get me for a father." He stared at the rows of bottles before him, eyes filled with nothing but despair. "I'm a drunk and I'm shattered and broken and it'll be my kid who's gonna pay the price. Because of who I am."

"You won't be alone," Sae said. "People're gonna help you both. And you just have to find a way because there'll be a child, whether you're ready or not. Someone who will need you to be there."

She rested her other hand over his, keeping it steady between hers. Those same hands that had helped him come into this world, all those years ago.

"You and I both know you'll take that train, eventually," she said. "Or did you forget who you are?"

"Pathetic worm?" Haymitch muttered.

"Domeric and Helena Abernathy's son. You put your family first."

 **Author's note: Thank you for the beautiful response on the first chapter! I'm so glad you liked it!  
This one was supposed to continue with another 1000 words but I've been delayed this weekend so instead of putting together something rushed I'm adding a chapter. So there'll be four in total.**

 **I hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you guys next weekend! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was eerie how little the Capitol had changed.

The same bizarre looking people strolled down the streets. The same shiny cars stood parked by the curb and the candy colored buildings shone just as painfully as he remembered.

What he wouldn't do for a bottle right now! Haymitch clenched his hands around the tremors and looked straight ahead, didn't meet eyes with anyone. It was enough with the double takes, the heads turned and the whispers when he passed. He also knew that if he slowed his steps for even a moment he'd disappear inside one of the many Capitol bars or liquor stores and maybe never come out again.

He hadn't told the kids his real reason for making this trip. They had enough of their own without having to deal with his hot mess. Twice he'd picked up the phone to call Effie and twice he'd lost heart. In the end he jumped the train in the heat of the moment, bringing only the clothes on his body and a pain in his stomach that didn't ease one bit during the long journey.

It was ma and pa who finally made him go. Pa's face if he'd heard how harshly his son had treated the mother of his child. Ma's reaction if she knew he wouldn't do the right thing.

"You get a girl pregnant, you marry her," she'd always said. "You don't hang her out to dry."

Part of him still wanted to bury his head in the sand; to just drink and pretend it never happened so he wouldn't have to deal with the consequences. But they were right. They were all right. The kid Effie carried was part of his responsibility too. She'd never marry him but they could work something out. Come up with some kind of plan, for the baby's sake.

He'd only ever been at her place once. Parts of the Capitol were sealed off, damaged by the bombings but he'd always had a remarkable memory so he should still be able to find his way back there again.

If she'd let him inside the door – that was a different matter.

He didn't know what time it was but when he finally reached Effie's building she wasn't home. He tried to peer inside the windows but the curtains were pulled and he saw only dim shadows of furniture. No movements.

He turned around just contemplating if he'd wait at her doorstep and undoubtedly have her whole neighborhood come and ask questions or try to get in touch with her through Plutarch – neither option appealing to him – when he saw a face he recognized.

Only it wasn't Effie.

Octavia, as plump and green as he remembered her, appeared round a corner. Her mouth formed a perfect O at the sight of District 12's former mentor.

"Haymitch Abernathy," she said in awe. "My, my, did you let yourself go! You were never great looking of course but…"

"D'you know where Eff is?" he asked.

"Eff?" Octavia crinkled her evergreen brow. "Oh, you mean Effie Trinket! So that's why you're back in the Capitol? For her? Is there some special occasion or…"

"Do you know where she is?" Haymitch repeated, fighting to keep the impatience out of his voice.

"I heard she had a doctor's appointment. She's pregnant, did you hear? And _unmarried,"_ she said with her hand over her voluminous chest, like that was the worst scenario she could think out. "Yes, poor Effie. I heard she's going to… you know…"

"What?" said Haymitch and frowned.

"You know," said Octavia. "To… correct the situation."

It felt as if she'd thrown a basin of icy cold water at him when the meaning of her words sank in.

"She's having an abortion?" Cold panic flooded every inch of him.

"No husband," Octavia said sadly. "She won't even tell us who the father is. She's been struggling."

"Where's the hospital? Is it far?"

Octavia blinked, startled by his sudden and heated reaction.

"No," she said, watching him curiously. "I can show you if you want."

The city was a maze of colors and sounds. He followed Octavia through crowds of waving hands, feathered costumes and animal balloons. They passed shops and buildings and trafficked streets all the while his heart pounded harder and harder, like a club in his chest.

She wouldn't do it, would she? The thought that Effie would terminate the pregnancy hadn't even crossed his mind. And if she did, had _he_ driven her to it? For turning his back on her and driving her away? He felt like puking.

"Where is that hospital?" he thundered once they got out on the next open street and his voice was so loud, poor Octavia jumped.

"It's not far", she said. "It's… "There she is!"

And he saw her before the beautician pointed.

"Eff!" Haymitch shouted across the road.

Effie turned around, surprised. The wind blew through her hair as she stared at him.

"Haymitch?"

And Haymitch who never ran, left Octavia far behind. She called his name but he didn't hear it. He ran straight out in the middle of the road, just needing to get to Effie.

And the car slammed right into him. The tires screeched, he heard Effie scream when he hit the concrete and everything went black.

 **And only one more chapter to go. :)** **See you next weekend and we'll see how it all ends. Leave a review if you feel like it. It really helps me to keep writing and posting.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The sky outside the window was dark. No stars. You never saw stars in the Capitol. Down below, Effie could hear the city's nightlife. Music, laughter, people shouting.

She sat close to his bed, pale and with her hands clasped together on her lap. Haymitch was sleeping from the morphling, the doctor had told her. He and then some of the nurses had tried to make her go home and get some rest but she couldn't leave. Not until she saw his eyes again.

Her throat tightened as she watched the scratches and bruises on his face, the bandages where he'd needed stitches.

She took his hand in hers and held it. Warm. He'd always been like a furnace all on his own. The penthouse had been a cold place. At least too cold for her liking and she remembered how she used to gravitate towards him to try and steal some of his warmth.

How angry she'd been with him the last time they saw each other. Angry and filled with despair. But even though she was the one who left and in the most horrible manner, she'd still hoped he would come after her.

Now she wished he'd stayed where he was.

She watched the fine wrinkles around his eyes, the gray hairs in his wild beard and all at once she was almost overcome with grief. The image of him in a growing puddle of his own blood was so vivid in her mind she choked back a sob.

It wasn't a loud sound but it was still enough. Haymitch stirred. His eyelids fluttered and a light groan escaped his lips when he moved his head towards her.

"Eff?" he rasped.

Effie's eyes shone with unshed tears when they finally met his.

"Oh, Haymitch," she said. "You really need to shave."

His eyelids were heavy. Every intake of breath hurt. He tried to will the two images of Effie into one and his mouth was so parched his voice was only a croaked whisper.

"Is it gone?"

Effie didn't follow.

"Is what gone?" she asked.

"The b…" He fought to get the words out but his useless voice failed him. Effie saw his gaze though, trying to focus on her stomach, to see through her dress.

"Why would it be gone?" she asked.

"Octavia said… you wanted… not…"

There was realization in her eyes.

"Is that why you ran for me?" she asked. "You thought I'd terminate? Why would you think that I.." She cut herself off mid-sentence. "No, Haymitch. The baby is not gone. I'll be 18 weeks next Friday."

The drugs they'd pumped into him wanted to pull him back under but Haymitch fought the haze. His movements were slow, sluggish when he reached out his hand, his fingertips just brushing against her dress, as if he had to check for himself before he could believe it.

And Effie understood.

Very gently she took his hand and moved it towards herself and there, through the fabric, he could feel the slight roundness of her belly.

Haymitch drew a painful breath and when he exhaled his eyes filled with tears. Every part of him hurt and he didn't have the strength to stop the tears from rolling down his face. It was just too much. All of it. Hearing she was pregnant. Hurting her and feeling like he'd ruined her life. The awful months after she left. Coming after her only to think he was too late. Forever too late.

And then this. This small promise underneath Effie's dress. So little it fitted in his cupped hand. But here.

The tears ran down his cheeks, disappearing into his beard. Effie kept quiet, giving him some space and a chance to calm. It was the first time she'd ever seen him cry. When his sobs had subsided a little she placed her hand over his that rested on her belly, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"You are an idiot, Haymitch," she said softly. "You know the Capitol and their mindless gossip. There are a hundred and one rumors floating around about District 12's escort and her illegitimate child right now. I wish you would have called me."

"I should've followed you." He kept his hand against her bump, like he'd never let go again. "I'll get an apartment here. I'll do whatever it takes, just..."

"Don't strain yourself, Haymitch. You have three broken ribs. And you don't have to worry. We're not going anywhere."

He wanted to believe it. Haymitch shut his eyes momentarily. His body felt like it weighed a ton.

"Do you want to know?" Effie asked. "The sex of the baby, I mean. I just found out today."

Haymitch almost feared the answer; feared getting a face to the children in his nightmares but he pushed those feelings down.

"Yeah."

She gave his hand on her stomach a soft caress.

"This is your son."

The moment he heard those words something flashed across his mind. His brain was all muddled but in that split second he saw something. A glimpse. Not from his nightmares or painful memories. Something else. An image. His back garden with all the new patches of blooms and flower bushes Peeta had planted. The sun shining overhead. And a small boy who shrieked and giggled as he ran in and out between the bushes until Haymitch caught up and scooped the kid up and close to himself, kissing his cheek.

Then it was gone and he saw Effie again. He met her bright blue eyes.

"Come back to Twelve," he said.

A small smile crossed Effie's lips. It was the first in a very long time.

"You won't be going anywhere for a while," she said softly. "But once you've been discharged you can come and stay with me if you want."

Haymitch nodded and immediately winced when his battered body complained.

"We will get you better," said Effie. "And then we can do whatever we want."

 **Author's note: This is not quite the end. Sorry about the delay. The chapter got a life of its own, again. But instead of having you wait another week I'll cut the chapter in two. :)**

 **As always, thanks for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts!**


	5. Chapter 5

**And we've reached the final chapter!**

Chapter 5

If the Capitol had been buzzing with gossip before it was nothing compared to now.

A lot of people had seen when the car slammed into Haymitch and rumors about his death hit the papers the very next day. It would probably have been on the news as well if it wasn't for Plutarch Heavensbee.

He'd come to visit Haymitch at the hospital, bringing a box of Capitol chocolate, all the latest news and a big hug that you should never give someone with three broken ribs. He gave Effie's tummy a good-natured pat and then passed most of the time telling them about his latest and very popular quiz show.

"And last week, you were a question," he told Haymitch as if that would cheer him up.

"If the newspapers say you are dead we better call the children," said Effie, when they were alone again.

Haymitch nodded.

The risk of Katniss and Peeta getting word of it was slim but if they did they'd just get worried if they didn't hear from them.

There was a phone on the nightstand and they put on loudspeaker so they could both talk with the children they'd come to view as theirs.

Peeta answered. They were in Katniss's kitchen, like most of the time these days, with Greasy Sae rummaging about in the background.

It felt comforting to have her so close, living just a few houses down from Katniss and Peeta and himself with her family while new, sturdy houses were being rebuilt all over the district.

Effie didn't mention the baby. It was Haymitch who finally brought it up.

"He will be here come December," Effie added.

The kids were initially stunned to silence and Haymitch didn't blame them. If someone had come up to him five months ago and said he'd procreate and with Effie Trinket no less he would have snorted and asked what that person had been drinking.

"If there's anything you need just let us know," Peeta finally said and Greasy Sae said the same thing when they got her on the line.

"And you'll start to look both ways when you cross the road, Haymitch. Before you make us all unhappy. Take care, both of you," was her parting words before she returned home to her children and grandchildren.

"I like her," smiled Effie.

The day Haymitch was finally discharged came hot and sultry. The cab driver helped him out of the car and Haymitch swore there was a face in every window on Effie's street.

Once inside, she directed him onto the couch where she propped him up with what felt like every pillow in the Capitol and then went to set up the guestroom. He wanted to come and help her but she gently pushed him back down.

"I can manage to make up a bed on my own, Haymitch. I'm not the one with a concussion and broken bones."

The first few weeks after Haymitch's arrival they stayed indoors. Effie made him eat only proper, nutritious fiber-rich food and lots of water while she put ice packs on his ribs, just like the doctor ordered.

The doctor had also prescribed painkillers but Haymitch wouldn't take those, no matter how much Effie scolded him for it.

"There is absolutely no sane reason to be so stubborn and macho," she said when he lied and told her he hardly felt it.

What he didn't say was that he wanted the pain. _Needed_ it. Effie had told him a hundred times he shouldn't beat himself up over his reaction when she first told him she was pregnant.

"I should have handled it better too," she said but it didn't change the way he felt, didn't lessen his guilt. She would get very mad if she knew he was thinking it but the pain felt like justice to him. A penance for what he'd done to her. To her and to his son.

Less than two weeks after Haymitch moved in, a large cardboard box arrived at Effie's doorstep. It was expected. The kids were sending some of his less shabby clothes and his winter jacket along with some other things he might need for a longer stay.

The mail man helped lifting the box onto the coffee table and once he'd gone Effie opened the flaps. Haymitch sat on the couch with a blanket over his lap and his hands wrapped around a cup of coffee that had taken him two days of arguing to get. If Effie got her way, he'd only drink his weight in water with lemon slices.

He watched as Effie lifted out his old jacket; the long, black one with gray, woolen lapels that she'd once bought for him. She went to put it in the hallway and Haymitch inched his way forward slowly, fighting back a moan, to look inside the box.

Everything he'd asked for was in there. But it wasn't the only things they'd sent.

Effie made him sit back again and then picked up the items one by one.

Peeta had sent packages of carefully frosted cookies and biscuits and several loaves of bread. There were two jars of jam made from strawberries that Katniss had picked out in the woods and at the bottom of the box was a wooden case with carvings on the lid. It looked ancient.

Effie sat down next to Haymitch, keeping the case on her lap. She raised the lid.

And gasped.

Before their eyes were several sets of knitted socks. The tiniest baby socks you could imagine. There were two baby rompers, also knitted, one blue and one a soft yellow. Effie lifted out a cream colored cardigan with light brown buttons and there were blankets with pretty patterns on them. Hats, mittens. All new, all so unbelievably small.

Haymitch fitted a sock on his thumb, staring at it, completely dumbfounded.

A gift from Greasy Sae.  
 _  
I hope they will fit,_ the note said and as Effie read it out loud her eyes slowly filled with tears. She blamed her hormones but it made him remember she didn't have any living family members left either.

They both longed to be back in Twelve, back with the others. But even though the district was being rebuilt, there was no proper hospital there, at least not one that would get Haymitch's stamp of approval. Sometimes he wondered if Twelve was a good place to raise a kid in the first place, ashes or no ashes.

"Nonsense!" said Effie when he told her.

In any case, her due date was still several months into the future and as it were now they took one day at a time.

Being confined to a small space with a pregnant Effie Trinket should be bound to be a disaster but it was actually kind of nice. Most of the times. She made them tea, they had some of Peeta's bread with strawberry jam and they talked a lot.

In the beginning he'd been concerned because he thought she was too skinny but Effie assured him it was perfectly normal and her doctor said they same thing when they went for a checkup.

And as the weeks turned into months Effie's stomach only got rounder and bigger. He was somewhat fascinated with watching her change.

But of course, she was still a drama queen.

"I'm huge!" Effie exclaimed, watching herself in the full-length mirror.

By then they were well into October. All the trees and windows and lamp posts blinked and twinkled with lights but it was all a blur, with the rain pouring down.

Effie turned and turned in front of the mirror as if trying to find a side of herself that would do. Haymitch watched from the couch with a glass of scotch in his hand.

"Look at me!" Effie said. "I used to be fabulous and stunning and magnificent. Outstanding! Now, you could put me next to a hippopotamus and no one would see _any_ difference!"

"Very true," said Haymitch and took a sip of his drink.

Effie threw him a glance over her shoulder, not at all pleased.

"You're supposed to disagree with me," she said sullenly. "You're supposed to say I'm pretty. I'm carrying your child!"

"I know. That's why you're huge," he said with a crooked smile over the edge of his glass.

Effie sighed. She rubbed her hands against her back and went over to him, lowering herself onto the couch.

He helped to lift up her legs and onto his lap, pulled off her socks and started to massage her feet. Effie groaned with relief and closed her eyes, leaning her cheek against the side of the couch. He watched as she rested her hand against her big stomach, stroking it absentmindedly.

"Course you're pretty, Eff," he said. "You're always pretty."

She opened her eyes momentarily and gave him a small smile before she closed them again.

"He will be here in two months," she murmured. "Can you believe it?"  
 _  
No,_ he thought. He was still just getting used to her pregnant so it was a very strange concept to grasp. Frightening, even. That soon she wouldn't be pregnant at all and instead they'd have a new person in their lives. Half him, half her. Someone who would be their very own.

That thought flooded him with panic more often than not. He knew it wasn't logical. Snow's reign had ended, the Games were over but he couldn't help it. People associated with him got hurt. If he cared about someone, they got hurt. It was an age-old fear so alive inside of him he wondered if it would ever truly go away.

Effie knew his signals all too well and tried to reach out when it was bad and he tried to let her instead of just shrugging her off and shut down like he usually would.

She was amazing.

Ever since he moved in, Effie had been their rock. Not him.

But if she despaired and it happened, it was Haymitch who was there for her. When the thought of giving birth terrified her; when the changes in her body simply overwhelmed her and she felt fat and ugly and positive she'd make a horrible mother he was always there for her. It wasn't just the other way around.

They were both trying and it brought them closer.

But sometimes it was bad no matter what they did. Days when Haymitch came home so drunk he could barely stand on his two feet. Nights when Effie cried herself to sleep. Stretches of time when they seemed to do nothing but argue and get on each other's last nerve.

But they always found their way back to each other. They made each other stronger. Better.

One night when a light snow slowly descended from a purple sky, covering the Capitol in a white blanket Haymitch crossed the small space between his and Effie's room.

They didn't say anything. They didn't have to. Effie lifted the covers and Haymitch lay down, close to her, his chest against her back. She turned her face towards him and their lips met.

There was less than two weeks left before she'd give birth and it was insane how big she'd gotten in such a short time. She was colossal. He rested his palm against her stomach as they kept kissing. There wasn't a sound in the room except for when their lips moved against each other and their soft breaths, the rustle of sheets.

They kissed each other breathless, rosy. She made him hard, he made her wet and still it didn't go any further. In that moment it was everything they needed.

Afterwards they lay with their heads on the same pillow, closely together and with his arm wrapped around her middle. They were both drowsy and already half-asleep but the baby stirred and kicked and moved around underneath Haymitch's palm. Effie gave a quiet sound of discomfort and Haymitch held the tiny bulge whenever it appeared on her belly, wondering if it was a baby elbow or a hand or a foot, until it eventually sank back down again.

He caressed her stomach soothingly and in his mind he begged him forgiveness for every time he'd thought about him as a mistake. He wasn't a mistake.

He was their baby boy.

Haymitch buried his nose in Effie's hair, keeping his hand where it was and it was the happiest he'd felt since before his family died.

The worries and self-doubts were still there. Maybe they always would be. They both knew their life wouldn't be a smooth sailing. There'd be more difficult days with difficult choices.

But that night they fell into a dreamless sleep, wrapped in each other's arms and their quiet moment of happiness.

It wouldn't be their last.

THE END

 **Author's note: And it's a wrap! I had a blast writing this chapter and I hope you enjoyed it as well. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. :) Did you have any favorite moments, chapters, quotes, what do you think about Haymitch and Effie's and Hayffie's progress? well anything really. :)**

 **And finally, THANK YOU all for reading, liking, following, favoriting and reviewing and sticking with the story until the end. This is my first ever finished multi-chap and your response has truly been terrific!**


	6. The Epilogue

**It's Hayffismas week on tumblr and since it happened to coincide with Effie's due month in this story I decided to go against my earlier decision and give you the birth of Hayffie's child.**

 **Fluff ahoy!**

The epilogue

Effie liked to think she had her "shit together", to use one of Haymitch's expressions. That he was the impulsive one in their duo when really it was the other way around.

Haymitch if anyone knew how feisty she could be. Behind that woman's smiles and perfectly composed features was a temperament that could show on the Richter scale.

Like now. More than ever now.

Her apartment was all prepared for the baby. Everything was childproofed, they had packed and repacked her bag for the hospital visit, they'd set up a nursery with the very eager, unasked and unforeseen help of Octavia, Flavius and Venia. (They'd showered them with stuffed animals, one creepier than the next.) Haymitch had even tried reading some of Effie's baby books so he wouldn't be completely helpless when the time came.

The only thing missing now was the actual baby.

But Effie's due date came and went. The same with the next day and the next. She used to feel just mildly uncomfortable but when eleven days had passed and the baby still didn't feel like making an appearance it was like living in a firework storage during a thunder storm. All that was needed was one spark.

"I should have known!" Effie said on day 12. "That's all I'm saying, I should have known! It's your child I'm carrying after all, of course he'd be late."

Haymitch who stood precariously on a step ladder trying to fasten a mistletoe over the door glanced at the miserable, pregnant heap on the couch that was Effie Trinket. Normally he'd tease her but he knew better than to give her a reason.

She didn't have a hard time finding those anyway. It was a real talent too because no matter what it was she always found a way to make it all Haymitch's fault.

His worst crime, the most unforgivable, was that he didn't manage to have sex with her.

"It's the least you can do when I didn't get to finish when we made him," Effie said and to Haymitch's credit he truly did his very best. But being probably rather cramped up by now the baby moved around and more than ever if Haymitch so much as touched Effie. Kid didn't want him there, that's what it felt like.

Effie had tried to explain to him that the baby was just reacting to her rapid heartbeat but it was no use. And add that to the fact he feared he'd wind up hurting him and Haymitch got limper than a melted marshmallow. Of course he tried other things that she liked but was still so cautious with her it mostly just added to her frustration.

Now Christmas was coming up though and Haymitch found a new way to keep her spirits high and to keep himself from being kicked out of the apartment.

If there was one Capitol-y streak you couldn't wash out of Effie Trinket it was her love for decorating things. If it was her hair or her face, her clothes or her home it didn't matter. She loved finding the perfect combinations of colors and design. Didn't come as a surprise to him then that she was a total sucker for the big holidays.

Well, not right now she wasn't. Not when she was so busy feeling fed up with being pregnant. She hadn't even mentioned Christmas.

So Haymitch took matters in his own hands. The expression on Effie's face when he walked in carrying a Christmas tree was absolutely priceless.

They decorated it with green and blue and red and golden ornaments and other decorations too that she'd kept from her childhood. Effie kissed him and hugged instead of nagging him and from that point on whenever she asked for something. Garlands, socks for the fireplace or – like today – a mistletoe, Haymitch went into town and got if for her.

It was equal parts consideration and self-preservation. She got happy and he got some peace and quiet for about five minutes at a time. Now the place was so Christmassy there wasn't one thing she could complain about.

Not the decorations, anyway.

"It's so hot in here!" Effie fanned herself wildly with her hands. The hot cup of alcohol-free mulled wine that he'd made her stood untouched on the coffee table. "Can you please open a window?"

"Already did, Effs," he said, pointing.

"Well, open another then! Last time I checked there were plenty to choose from. I'm burning up!"

Haymitch climbed down from the step latter.

"You're gonna freeze us to death, sweetheart," he said but did as she pleased and opened a second window. He took a blanket from the armchair and wrapped it around himself. "May I approach?"

Effie threw him a dirty look. Her cheeks were all ruddy. Like those baby angels he remembered from the ceiling in Eleven's Justice building.

"Are you trying to be smart with me, Haymitch Abernathy?"

"Oh, boy," Haymitch muttered. He sat down next to her and rested his hand on her big stomach. "Your mother's gettin' on my last nerve, kid", he whispered. "Better hurry up in there before she bites my head off for real."

Effie sighed defeated and leaned her head heavily on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Haymitch but I am going clinically insane." She put her hand over his that rested on her stomach. "It has been almost two weeks. What is he waiting for?"

"Kid probably won't show until he's sure his mum and dad are ready to have a kid."

"Please, don't say that," Effie murmured. Their fingers entwined and she peered up at the new addition in the doorway. "At least the mistletoe came up nicely and… oh!" she groaned with a start. "No," she said in a miserable tone, seeing his look. She rubbed her palm soothingly against her belly. "I'm getting kicked in the guts. That's all."

Haymitch leaned in and gave their little kicker and latecomer a soft kiss before he got up.

"Come, princess." He tossed the blanket aside and reached his hands out to her. "Up you go and enough with the pity party."

Effie just eyed him suspiciously. She didn't move.

"Let's go have a smooch under the plant," he said.

"The mistletoe."

"Yeah, whatever. Come. I'll sweep you off your Capitol feet."

"Mm," Effie puffed and he saw her counting the distance she'd have to walk from the couch to the doorway. "Can't you just kiss me from where I sit? That could be just as nice."

"Come on, Effs. I'm working my ass off creatin' a moment here." He took her hands and even though she complained she let him help her to her feet.

"Are you having a go at romance, Haymitch?" she asked when they stood under the mistletoe, her hands still in his.

"Yeah, so shut up before you ruin it, sweetheart". A small smile appeared on her lips when Haymitch rested one hand against the small of her back, gently moving her closer; as close as her big stomach allowed. He looked her deep in the eyes as he cupped her cheek and brushed his thumb softly against her skin. It was amazing how he could make her heart flutter so, even after all these years.

She closed her eyes when his lips touched hers and sweet merciful heaven Haymitch Abernathy knew how to kiss! He'd always been a natural in that department. The tip of his tongue only just brushed against her lips and she parted them. A quiet moan escaped her and she held on to a fistful of his shirt, thankful to have his arms around her. She didn't trust that her knees wouldn't weaken and give way.

"Haymitch," she sighed.

And that was when it happened. Without warning and with such force you'd think someone had tipped over a filled bucket between Effie's thighs it splashed on to the floor, up Effie's legs, up Haymitch's legs.

"What the…!"

They stared from the wet mess on the floor and to each other.

"My water broke," Effie gasped. "Haymitch, you made my water break!"

xXx

If the baby was as fashionably late as Haymitch he would soon turn out to be every bit as stubborn as well.

"It hurts! It's hurts! It hurts, Haymitch!"

Effie threw her head back against the pillow, crushing his hand in hers as she cried up at the ceiling. Haymitch was pale as a sheet. He felt completely powerless, useless. He didn't know what to do and if he said "You're gonna be OK" one more time he didn't think he'd get out of this alive. He just stood there like a damn fool, bathing in sweat while his stomach made somersault after somersault.

"I… I think I gotta throw up," he said but when he tried making a beeline for the bathroom Effie yanked him right back.

"And where the hell do you think you're going? Huh!" she said, her face red and wet from perspiration. "If I don't get to walk out, _you_ don't get to walk out! It's your magic semen that got us in this situation in the first place!"  
"Um," said Haymitch, looking from Effie's rabid face to the midwife but she seemed to be used to scenes like this and as for Effie she was too far gone to give a damn about manners right now.

"You. Stupid. Piece. Of. Shit!" she pressed out through gritted teeth. "It's a good thing you don't want to have sex with me because I am _never_ having sex with you again! Be sure of that, Haymitch! When we get home I'm taking the hacksaw and I am castrating you. Yes, I will!"

"You can do this, Effie. I know you can."

 _"Shut up!"_

But when it happened, it happened quickly. One moment it was just them and then suddenly there was somebody else there, demanding to be acknowledged.

"This was a fine little specimen," the midwife smiled and Haymitch stared at the red, bawling boy she was holding up, smeared in God knows what. His eardrums nearly popped at the sound he was making and he couldn't look away. He and Effie both.

The midwife took care of him, swaddled him up and laid him on Effie's chest and Effie chuckled through tears when she felt the weight of him.

"Look at you," she said. "Big baby."

Feeling his mother so close and hearing her voice had a calming effect on the baby. He stopped crying and came to rest, only moved his head to and fro, like when you're just about to wake up.

He peered up at them in wonderment and they got a glimpse of a pair of Capitol blue eyes, Effie's eyes. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, she didn't do any attempt to hide it and even Haymitch found himself swallowing and swallowing.

One of the nurses pulled up an armchair to him and he thankfully sat down.

Effie reached out her hand to him and their fingers entwined.

"I'm so glad I had sex with you."

"So that's how it sounds now," Haymitch said weakly. Effie smiled and looked back at their son. His eyes were closed now. He looked like he was sleeping.

"So precious," she murmured. "He looks a lot like me, don't you think? Beautiful and special. Someone you'll remember. I wonder what's his name." Months of debating hadn't gotten them closer to finding one they both liked.

Haymitch brushed the back of his fingers against one of the baby's chubby cheeks.

"Look at the size of those," he commented, somewhat fascinated.

"Haymitch," Effie sucked in a breath. "Don't criticize my baby!"

"Wasn't criticizin'. Just an observation." He caressed his hand ever so softly against the boy's head. "And he ain't yours alone, Eff. He's got my hair and everything so you don't get all the credit."

Effie smiled and it felt like the most natural thing in the world to lean in and kiss her.

"Would you like to hold him?"

Haymitch was positive the child would start screaming again as soon as the nurse placed him in his arms but he needn't worry. Haymitch swallowed thickly, sitting there as still as a statue. He hadn't had someone so pure and innocent and peaceful sleeping on his arm since his little brother last did it. Back when they shared a lumpy bed in the Seam.

The nurse was speaking to Effie but he hardly even heard it or noticed when they all drew back, leaving him and Effie alone with their child.

"Do you want me to take him now?" Effie asked eventually but Haymitch shook his head.

"Little while longer," he mumbled. He touched one of those tiny fists and the boy immediately took hold of his pinkie - a surprisingly firm grip for someone so little.

Effie soon drifted off to sleep but Haymitch couldn't, even if he'd tried. He just sat there and stared at his son, like he'd never get enough of him and he marveled over the fact you could love someone so new so much so soon.

He wished his family had been there to see him. Pa, he would have smiled with shiny eyes and asked if he could hold him. Ma would say "Now you'll take good care of him," and Amadeus, he'd caress the baby's soft locks so delicately and ask what they were going to call him.

Usually Haymitch did everything in his power to not think of them, it just hurt too much. But he hadn't slept in over 24 hours and he couldn't push them away now when his heart was so full.

The boy had begun to stir. He puckered up his lips and rubbed his face against Haymitch's chest, searching for food.

Effie heard the whimpers and sleepily reached out her arms towards the sound.

How hard it was to pass him over, even to Effie. She put the baby to her breast and the whimpers stopped. The boy's eyes closed again as he sucked rhythmically while he kept a firm grip on his father's pinkie. Haymitch didn't think he'd ever seen anyone look so content and at peace with his world.

And Effie. Her cheeks glowed. Her face was still damp and hair a mess but he'd never seen her look so healthy, so happy.  
 _  
I love you._

He could have said that. If it was because of the lack of sleep, the peacefulness over the whole scene, the fact that she'd just birthed his child or something more he didn't know. He just wanted to say it. Those three words that he hadn't uttered in decades.

But he didn't. Effie wouldn't even believe him. She'd probably just laugh and ask if he hit his head while she slept.

So he didn't say it. Not that day.

But it didn't make it any less true.


End file.
